Finding out you are pregnant can ignite many strong, and sometimes conflicting, emotions in both you and your partner.
If you are unexpectedly pregnant, you might be feeling a lot of pressure from your partner to choose abortion. But maybe you’re not sure that’s what you want. Pressure from those you love can make the decision even more confusing.
It’s important to remember that no one can make you have an abortion or choose something you are not comfortable with.
Here are helpful steps to take when your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion.
My boyfriend wants an abortion, but I’m not sure.
What do YOU want? What are YOU feeling?
So you think you know how your boyfriend feels about the pregnancy, but how do you feel?
Ask yourself, “Do I want an abortion? Is this the best decision for me and my body? Will I regret this decision later?”
It’s easy for emotions to become overwhelming. It’s especially easy to make quick decisions based on your current emotions. Don’t make a decision based on your emotions, you might regret it later.
Sometimes writing out your thoughts and emotions can help you clear your mind and identify what you’re really feeling. It’s helpful to decide what you really want before you let others’ opinions and feelings sway yours.
You can feel confident in what is best for you when you understand how you are feeling.
Talk to him and listen to his concerns too
Your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion, but do you know why? Sit down with him and discuss why he thinks this is the best option. Does he feel like he’s not ready to be a father? Does he feel like his freedom will be taken away? Does he think finances will be a problem?
Maybe he told you, “I support whatever decision you choose,” but you know deep down he really hopes you make the decision he thinks is best. Maybe he is afraid to be a parent, especially if he has not had a father figure in his life. At Thrive Women’s Clinic, we have a men’s mentorship program that mentors fathers. Whatever his reasons, your reasons matter too.
Tell him how you’re really feeling about it. Tell him your concerns, your fears, and why you might not agree that is the best option. If he is a good partner, he will listen carefully and respond with respect and understanding.
How you fight and resolve conflict during this decision may be an indicator of whether your relationship is healthy or not. Chances are an abortion will not solve your relationship problems but only magnify them.
Getting help from trusted friends and family who know what you value can help you see the big picture.
You may be at a place where you are deciding if you are okay with being a single mother. This is a big decision and one that takes lots of support. It is important to seek the counsel of those who have walked similar paths and who understand how to support you.
Find the right support
It’s normal to want support through your pregnancy and raising a child. If your boyfriend won’t agree on a decision and you still want to continue your pregnancy, it’s time to find support from others.
Your support group can consist of your family, friends, and local organizations. There are countless organizations ready to help you with pregnancy options, finances, housing, support, and more.
At Thrive Women’s Clinic we are here to support you regardless of your decision. We offer appointments at no cost to talk through pregnancy options and connect you with helpful resources. Schedule an appointment to talk with our medical professionals today.
Remember, at the end of the day, the decision is yours to make no matter what anyone tells you.
More Resources for Him and Her
For her:
If you’re unsure of how to tell him you’re pregnant, read our article: “How to Tell Your Partner You’re Pregnant.”
If you are wondering what he will think when you tell him you’re pregnant, read: “What Is He Going to Think When I Tell Him I’m Pregnant?”
To make a pregnancy decision together, read: “How to Make a Pregnancy Decision Together.”
To learn how abortion affects relationship health, read “How Many Relationships Stay Together After Abortion?”
For him:
If you are unsure what to do next, read our article: “My Girlfriend Is Pregnant. What Do I Do?”
If you don’t feel ready to be a dad, read: “Unplanned Pregnancy: What To Do When You Don’t Feel Ready to Be a Dad.”
To make a pregnancy decision together, read our article “How to Make a Pregnancy Decision Together.”
To learn how abortion affects relationship health, read “How Many Relationships Stay Together After Abortion?”
If you want to learn more about your role in this pregnancy and next steps, go to our “For Men” page.