Pregnancy wasn’t a part of your plan.
Telling your partner about an unexpected pregnancy can cause a lot of anxiety, especially if you don’t know how they will react. Just know you’re not alone.
Here are a few helpful tips on how to tell your partner you’re unexpectedly pregnant.
How do I tell my partner about an unplanned pregnancy?
1. Confirm your pregnant first
It might be a good idea to confirm your pregnancy before you have a conversation with your partner. Sometimes pregnancy symptoms and at-home pregnancy tests aren’t always accurate. The best way to confirm you’re pregnant is to see a medical provider.
Thrive Women’s Clinic offers free, confidential medical-grade pregnancy tests that are 99% accurate.
Confirm your pregnancy by scheduling an appointment today.
2. Figure out what you’re feeling
After you’ve confirmed you are pregnant, you might feel flooded with conflicting emotions. It is completely normal and valid to be in shock and overwhelmed with worry and questions.
Before you let the feelings and opinions of your partner influence you, it’s a good idea to figure out what you are feeling. Try to find somewhere quiet to be alone and process what initial emotions you might be feeling.
If you need help sorting out your thoughts, our trained staff are here to support you.
3. Plan to tell your partner in person
Communicating in person will eliminate any misunderstandings and help you both process this information together.
Pick a time and place that is private and allows time to talk through both of your feelings together. Don’t share that you’re pregnant when you both are rushing out the door or either of you are in a bad mood.
Try to use words that don’t put all the responsibility on yourself. You both were a part of making this pregnancy possible. When you share the news, you can use phrases like, “We’re pregnant” or “We’re having a baby”. This communicates this situation requires both of you to accept and respond to it.
4. Be open and honest
It’s important to be fully open and honest with your partner about how you are feeling. Tell him your worries and what you would like to do about the pregnancy. Tell him that you really value his true feelings and opinions and want his input.
5. Give space for his initial reaction
Give him time to process this information. Remember you’ve had some time to process this information. This is his first time hearing it.
If he responds negatively, give him some space. His initial reaction might not be true to what his intentions and feelings towards the pregnancy are long-term. If the conversation starts to escalate or you feel threatened in any way, remove yourself from the situation.
You might be thinking, “What if he leaves?”
Even if he doesn’t come around to the same conclusion as you, it will still be okay. Your support system doesn’t have to look like just your partner. Family and friends are a great support system to lean on. Our staff at Thrive Women’s Clinic is also here to support you.
6. Discuss next steps together
If you want your partner to be involved in this pregnancy, talk about what next steps might look like. Discuss what you envision the future to look like and what you are going to do to get there. Maybe your next steps can look like telling your parents (linke to how to tell parents blog) together or having him attend your future appointments.
If your partner is pressuring you to get an abortion but you aren’t sure, read how to handle this decision here.
A great next step is to visit Thrive Women’s Clinic to determine your pregnancy options and next steps.
Get Advice & Support at Thrive Women's Clinic
If you want your partner to be involved in this pregnancy, talk about what next steps might look like. Discuss what you envision the future to look like and what you are going to do to get there. Maybe your next steps can look like telling your parents together or having him attend your future appointments.
If your partner is pressuring you to get an abortion but you aren’t sure, read how to handle this decision here.
A great next step is to visit Thrive Women’s Clinic to determine your pregnancy options and next steps.